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I Feel Like a Man

December 11, 2014

Hey, it’s Brent. Well, yeah, who the fuck else would it be. Thanks for all the visitors to my site. I can see my stats have dropped off in the past few months. Probably because I haven’t posted anything for a year. It’s been a rough year and a bunch of shit’s gone down. I thought I got a chick pregnant, but then it turned out it was another guy’s, then this other chick thought she was pregnant from this other guy, but then it turned out it was mine, but then it turned out she was banging the first guy’s dad and it’s his, then it turned out the two chicks were long-lost twins separated at birth, so they’re all happy ’cause it’s gonna be some sort of fucked up family or something. Couldn’t figure it out though ’cause the one chick is brown Latina and the other one is white as a ghost even though they’re twins. But congrats to all of them.

Anyway, I started going to this poetry slam thing at some local shitfuck coffee shop. Lamest fucking place ever with all these hipster shoulda-graduated-college-4-years-ago loser assholes. Fuckers can’t even grow a decent beard, and some of the chicks had more hair on their arms than me.

But there was one totally smokin’ one there, though, which is why I started to go to this poetry slam. God the poetry was retarded. I didn’t know what the fuck these guys were talking about… protesting whatever the fuck was in the newspaper or on the internt news that day. I realized after a couple weeks of this chick not seeming into me that I’d need to step it up and write a poetry slam poetry poem myself. Needless to say, the powerful poem I am about to share with you got me not only the chick I was after but three of her friends (and only 1 of them didn’t shave her pits, so that’s cool I guess).

So here it is. I call it “Get Ready, Get Set, Get Wet… For Me, Because I Am A Man.”

I feel like a man
When I’m fucking you
The look in your eyes
As I juggle your juggs

I feel like a man
When I’m mounting you
The sound of your moans
As I stab

I feel like a man
When I’m behind you
Reaching around
And cupping you very fondly

You look like a lady
When you strip for me
The titties flop out
For a breath of fresh air

You look like my woman
When you recline for me
Eagerly waiting
My throbbing surprise

When it springs forth
And onto your face
You receive it with grace
As you do your womanly duties

You look like a goddess
When you’re fucking me
Watching you on top
It’s I who sees Jesus

And when I let loose
My erotic juices
We reach heaven together
As I grunt like a man

And I don’t even care
When your daughter walks in
Because I feel like a man
When I’m fucking you

The End.

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