I should introduce myself briefly.
I’m Brent. My last name isn’t really “Hard,” but when I was in grade school, I had a lot of very noticeable boners, so I got the nickname “Hard Brent,” and I just decided to start telling people my name is “Brent Hard” because it sounds like I’m a pornstar and chicks like that (trust me, I’ve got the iPhone pics to prove it!). It’s weird that in grade school, popping mad boners all the time got me made fun of but now, popping mad boners all the time gets me trashy chicks.
So to all you young kids out there with weird sexual problems: just tough it out. That nerdy girl who sits next to you will remember your hulking man-boners when you meet her again in 10 years at state college and she’s totally gotten so hot that several boners sprout forth while you’re talking to her.